Tuesday, March 2, 2010

This is me today! I am finally feeling like I might live. But, I am ready to release all the flying monkeys on my neighbors. What are people thinking!!?? My neighbors seem to all know I sew. They must have been having coffee klatches so they could share that information. What they don't know is that I am a selfish sewer. I DOUBLE do not like to sew for other people--grandkids & kids excluded--I love to sew for them--I only want to sew for myself. Otherwise I would advertise or tell people that I sew for all people. And I don't! I don't want to teach people to sew, either! I am not a professional seamstress--I am mostly self taught. Soooooo, teach yourself!! I have no patience to teach people to sew---especially if you have never, EVER, touched a sewing machine in your life! Do NOT even think of touching my sewing machine---not NOW, not EVER! Also, I am not a tailor. I buy patterns, fabric, notions, yada, yada, and I follow the pattern & sew. I don't want to hem your pants, sew up your seams that came apart, take in or let out any of your clothes---buy the damn things in the right size. This is how I feel, sorry neighbors. I would rather you know from the start that I don't like to S.W.A.G (sew with a grudge). If you see something I have sewn--a T shirt, a table runner, a cover for a down comforter, a robe, an apron, custom pillow cases for all seasons, whatever---NO, I don't want to make one for you. Look in the newspaper adds, on Craigslist, places people advertise who want to do this---lose my phone number----please. Whew, now I really feel better!


Elizabeth said...

Mom, this is so funny! I loved your play on S.W.A.G! HA!!!

Stacey Dean said...

Hilarious as always mom! I love it! Keep on writing!